Bitter Truth For Guys Trying To Maintain Distant Relationships

Have you ever dipped your fingers in a pot of Melon Soup (Egusi) without heating or getting it refrigerated?  The next day, be sure that your soup will become sour!!! This is possibly what could become of your relationship and emotional feelings when 'distance' is involved, especially, when this 'distance' is not handled with enough maturity!

I personally think it is basically foolish trying to maintain distant relationships when the two persons involve do no wish to get married or are not ready to settle down as husband and wife within the shortest possible time! If your girlfriend lives in Uyo and you live in Akure, the burden and regular emotional pains that distant relationships bring could be better tamed if both of you would be tying the knot as soon as possible. On the other hand, in a situation where both of you are still confused on the future of the relationship or there are no serious plans for marriage on ground, you could both be deceiving yourselves while living in constant emotional torture!!!

'Love', no matter how fake it is, grows when the persons that are involved are physically present with each other to ignite the ingredients of romance in the relationship. When romance leaves through the door in a relationship, affection, care and attention are definitely going to leave through the windows! 'Love' would become a mirage and relationship would be recklessly abandoned and forgotten!

As partners, doing things together such as going to the cinema, shopping, strolling and holding hands in the park, watching movies together at home, cracking jokes and seeing the smiles on the faces of each other go a long way in boosting romance . On the contrary, these things are not present in distant affairs! Relationship needs physical body contact, if truth be told. That's the easiest way to reduce unnecessary tension, jealousy, accusations and counter-accusations, constant cheating and lying and all other funny things that go along with distant affairs!!!

In this world that we live in, where materialism and sex are fast becoming the foundations of most relationships, you should sincerely think about it...whether the one you romantically call 'your love' is fervently sincere with you too . I mean, phone calls and chats are just so boring and useless without physical contact!!!

I am not a misogynist and has never been but experiences and observations have clearly shown that ladies cheat more in distant relationships because they are more prone to romantic pressures from other men; some may be carried away by materialism and the pressure to have sex!!! This explains why you may be in Warri, happy that you have a loving girlfriend that lives in Lagos, not knowing that one sharp banker with slick tongue and posh car is banging her in and out! In no time, her care and attention for you would decrease; she would call and text lesser and discussions on phone would become so boring! You should know it is almost coming to an end! . If you don't have any plans of getting married soonest, don't waste your time on distant affairs! I would even suggest you use the money you spend on regular, boring and long phone calls on online betting because you cold be wasting your resources on a girl someone else is 'eating'

Distant relationship is full of pains, lies, emotional trauma, unnecessary troubles, jealousy and fear all occassioned by lack of physical presence!

How to deal with Fustrations

Frustration: a knotty situation but a reality to be experienced. We are in a society where we are being driven by a neurotic speed and force accelerated by greed and frustration of deviating from the image which we initially created for ourselves because at times, the image has no reflection of us in reality - Yoko Ono.. .. ..

Frustration, at times painful but always yields a very positive and essential part of our success, but that still doesn't change the fact that an atom of the reactant (frustration) won't be present in the outcome.. .. ..

No matter how satisfied one is on earth, he must surely cross the path of frustration coz it has been necessitated by the Creator that all living creatures must undergo series of frustrations right from their beginning till they eventually die. A classic example can be seen in the life of young children, they strive so hard to take their first step just to become mobile, and after that, they also strive for years before they master a language that would allow them to express themselves clearly and freely, but before that happens, all they do is cry and depend on a loving parent who would be able to interpret their frustrations which might be hunger, pain or any sort of uncomfortable feeling in a way that would relieve them.. .. ..

Even at adult stage, frustration is still inevitable, i can boldly say that 85% of the individuals of this nation are currently in position where frustrations led them to, and not a place where they initially wished to be. Our society is a typical example to that; a student who had completed his SSCE was about to further his education in the higher institution, he initially wished to study mechanical engineering but after the whole UTME and POST UTME, he was unfortunate to be given metallurgical engineering, then he was left in a dilemma where he was to choose between accepting the course that was given to him or decline it and may never have that kind of opportunity again. The whole scenario and frustrations derailed his life and he later ended up being a police officer. A writer once said that; "The same frustration which leads a thief into stealing is the same frustration that leads a policeman into a police job. That's why you should always at least try to be nice to them whenever they ask for weekdays/weekends pocket money coz a thief is entitled to a gun likewise a policeman, but the policeman chose to set positive possibilities with his own frustration and the pocket money he is always asking for is the atom of frustration in his success as aforesaid in the 3rd paragraph.. .. ..

Unfortunately, the whole challenges isn't our fault, but our brain and central nervous system requires much frustration and constant pressure to develop, grow and maintain dexterity. A good question to ask ourselves is:

HOW DO WE DEAL WITH OUR FRUSTRATIONS?

Do we see it as a challenge to greater places? Do we see it as an opportunity to blame someone else? Do we just sit and cry and wait for someone to help us deal with it? These are the questions that should always pop up whenever we find ourselves in frustrating moments.. .. ..

It's high time we learnt how to differentiate between our failure and frustration, failure is not the problem, but frustration certainly is. A failure that follows frustration will close the door of our mind but if we are able to ignore the failure and seek another opportunity, our situations won't be that of total failure. All we have to do is redirect the substantial energy of our frustration into something productive and turn it into positive, effective, and unstoppable determination that would help us set positive possibilities.. .. ..

Originally written by LordOfTheWeed

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL PRESS RELEASE ON NIGER DELTA: SHELL’S MANIFESTLY FALSE CLAIMS ABOUT OIL POLLUTION EXPOSED, AGAIN

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL

PRESS RELEASE

Claims by oil giant Shell that it has cleaned up heavily polluted areas of the Niger Delta are blatantly false, Amnesty International and the Centre for Environment, Human Rights and Development (CEHRD) said in a new report published today.
Clean it up: Shell’s false claims about oil spills in the Niger Delta documents ongoing contamination at four oil spill sites that Shell said it had cleaned up years ago. The report is being published to mark the 20th anniversary of the execution, on 10 November 1995, of the environmental activist and writer, Ken Saro-Wiwa, who campaigned tirelessly against the damage caused by the oil industry in the Niger Delta.

“By inadequately cleaning up the pollution from its pipelines and wells, Shell is leaving thousands of women, men and children exposed to contaminated land, water and air, in some cases for years or even decades,” said Mark Dummett, Business and Human Rights researcher at Amnesty International.
“Oil spills have a devastating impact on the fields, forests and fisheries that the people of the Niger Delta depend on for their food and livelihood. Anyone who visits these spill sites can see and smell for themselves how the pollution has spread across the land.”

The report also documents the failure of the Nigerian government to regulate the oil industry. Its watchdog, the National Oil Spill Detection and Response Agency (NOSDRA) is under-resourced and continues to certify areas as clean that are visibly polluted with crude oil.

“As people in Nigeria and around the world remember Ken Saro-Wiwa and the eight other Ogoni leaders who were executed in 1995, Shell and the government of Nigeria cannot ignore the terrible legacy of the oil industry in the Niger Delta. For many people of the region, oil has brought nothing but misery,” said Stevyn Obodoekwe, CEHRD’s Director of Programmes.
“The quality of life of people living surrounded by oil fumes, oil encrusted soil and rivers awash with crude oil is appalling, and has been for decades.”

Investigation finds visible pollution at sites Shell says it cleaned
The Niger Delta is the biggest oil-producing region in Africa. The largest international oil company there is Shell. It operates around 50 oil fields and 5,000 km of pipelines, much of them ageing and poorly-maintained. The oil giant’s own figures admit to 1,693 oil spills since 2007, though the real number is probably higher.

In 2011 the United Nations Environmental Programme (UNEP) exposed massive levels of pollution caused by oil spills from Shell pipelines in the Ogoniland region of the Niger Delta. UNEP also exposed how the damage done to the environment and people was exacerbated by the company’s failure to clean up the spills properly. In response, Shell promised to clean up sites identified by UNEP and improve its response to future spills.
Yet in field investigations at four of the spill sites UNEP identified as highly polluted in 2011, Amnesty International and CEHRD found all four remain visibly contaminated in 2015, even though Shell says it has cleaned them. The investigation demonstrates this is due to inadequate clean-up, and not new oil spills.

At one of the locations, Shell’s Bomu Well 11, researchers found blackened soil and layers of oil on the water, 45 years after an oil spill took place – even though Shell claims to have cleaned it up twice, in 1975 and 2012. At other sites, certified as cleaned by the Nigerian regulator, researchers found soil and water contaminated by oil close to where people lived and farmed.
The investigation shows Shell has not addressed problems with its entire approach to cleaning up oil pollution in Nigeria, including how it trains and oversees the local contractors that actually conduct the work.

One contractor who had been hired by Shell told Amnesty International how half-hearted and superficial clean-up efforts fail to prevent lasting environmental damage:
“This is just a cover up. If you just dig dow n a few metres you find oil. We just excavated, then shifted the soil away, then covered it all up again.”

Communities bear the brunt of oil pollution

Communities told Amnesty International and CEHRD how lingering pollution after oil spills had contaminated the land and rivers that nearly two-thirds of the Niger Delta’s people rely on for food and livelihood. Emadee Roberts Kpai, now in his 80s, was a farmer and fisherman until the oil spill at Bomu Manifold in 2009.

“Our creeks are no more. Fishing activity is no more productive. The farm I should be farming has already been devastated by oil spills from Shell. Our crops are no longer productive. No fish in the water. We plant the crops, they grow but the harvest is poor.

“When Shell came to our community, they promised that if they find oil they’ll transform our community, and everybody will be happy… Instead we got nothing from it.”

[note: for more testimony from the community, see case study document]

Shell fails to act despite UN criticism
Shell told Amnesty International it disagreed with the organizations’ findings, without providing any details. The company directed researchers to its website, but this provides very little information about clean up. Shell also repeated its claim that most oil spills and pollution are caused by illegal activity, such as people stealing oil from pipes rather than poor maintenance.

Amnesty International and CEHRD have exposed false statements made by Shell about illegal activity and the extent of oil spills due to corroded pipes in previous reports.
In any case, Nigerian law says companies who own pipelines are responsible for cleaning up, no matter what causes a spill.
Amnesty International is calling on Shell to be more transparent about its clean-up operations. The organization also says the Nigerian government needs to strengthen its watchdog, the National Oil Spill Detection and Response Agency (NOSDRA).

”Shell says theft is to blame for oil spills, but even if that were true it would not excuse the company’s consistent failure to clean up oil pollution. Shell’s blame game can no longer deflect attention from its broken promises and neglected infrastructure,” said Mark Dummett.
“As long as oil companies fail to live up to their commitments, the Niger Delta will remain a cautionary tale of communities promised prosperity, but left with blighted, devastated lands.”

Background: Clean It Up campaign targets Shell

The report is part of Amnesty International’s Clean It Up campaign, which calls on Shell to finally deal with the devastating impact of oil spills in Niger Delta. The campaign involves special vigils and protest actions outside Shell petrol stations ahead of the 20th anniversary of Ken Saro-Wiwa’s execution after an unfair trial on 10 November 1995.
Amnesty will be holding a press conference in Abuja to provide further analysis to this report at 10am on Tuesday 3 November.

ENDS

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For more information please call Amnesty International’s press office in Abuja on

+234 909 279 4686 or in London on +44 20 7413 5566

email: Eulette.ewart@amnesty.org.ng

twitter: @AmnestyNigeria