Wake Me Up When This Nightmare Is Over

Pardon the cheek.

I want to give you a quick assignment this morning. Please pick up your phone. Call at least three of your friends. Ask them to list the most urgent national issues, in their own opinion, at the moment. Let's be quick with it, please. Here we go.

One…

Two…

Three…

Are you done? Great.

Did any of them list Senate Majority Leader and Chief Whip as their priorities? What about Deputy Majority Leader?

The ones I called said the urgent issues are the falling naira, unpaid salaries, the looming fuel crisis, erratic power supply and rising insecurity, notably the renewed Boko Haram attacks and increasing armed robberies. None of them mentioned Chief Whip. My friends must be out of touch, you would say.

Reading the news, after all, they should know that the most urgent issue in Nigeria today is the politics of sharing political spoils at the National Assembly, which has become the battleground for a test-run of the 2019 presidential election — with various interests strategies to take control. The undercurrents of this proxy war will not be televised. In the absence of anything of significance happening at Aso Rock, the National Assembly is the centre of attraction. The politicians are keeping us entertained with their usual who-gets-what fiasco, while thousands of distracted Nigerians are at the ringside soaking in the fun.

I have been well lectured that we need to put the National Assembly "in order" before the new administration can take off and I must express my sincere gratitude to my teachers.

I suspect that the naira is falling because the house of representatives is yet to have its principal officers, and we should expect a better exchange rate when the reps reconvene in July and make those appointments. Armed robbers, sensing that Senate President Bukola Saraki was not the preferred candidate of the APC, have gone on the rampage. Hopefully, if Senator Ahmad Lawan is made senate president, the robbers will beat a retreat remorsefully.

Wake up, fellow Nigerians, we are in trouble. Big trouble. Saraki is the least of our problems.

Our economy has had a ghastly accident. It suffered multiple fractures and lost a lot of blood. We don't seem to know it.

I belong to the group that thinks we are in a nightmare and that it will take a long and painful process to stabilise the system. I must confess that I am not one of those praying for crude oil price to rise again. Do not blame me. I'm paranoid. In 2008, crude oil sold for as high as $147. It did not make my life better. It did not improve electricity. It did not fix the hospitals. It did not improve the quality of public schools. What I saw, instead, was profligacy. I saw state-of-the-art governor's residences being built, with designer champagne being popped at the "house-warming" ceremonies and showcased on live TV. I saw a country whose problem was not money but how to waste it.

And then crude oil prices began to crash. When the 2009 budget was being drafted in the last quarter of 2008, oil prices hovered in the vicinity of $100 per barrel. The drafters felt they were being conservative with a benchmark of $62.50. (After all, the 2008 budget was benchmarked against $59 yet oil eventually hit $147.) In no time, however, prices began to wither; the $62.50 mark was no longer realistic. The budget drafters adjusted it to $45, thinking again that it was a wise, conservative decision. But a week after the Appropriation Bill was presented to the National Assembly by President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua, oil was selling for $40. It ended the year at $32.

To adjust to the new reality, Yar'Adua and governors began to reduce the population and salaries of political appointees. Nigerians rejoiced. We went on a sweet-smelling campaign on how we were about to reduce reliance on crude oil and diversify the economy. Northern governors spoke deliciously about how agriculture and solid minerals were going to power the economy of the north. Southern governors spoke seductively about industrialisation and Japanisation of their own economies. If you lived in Nigeria in 2009, you would swear that we had finally overcome our genetic folly and were about to get over the oil dependency nightmare.

But crude oil prices began to recover, selling for as high as $80 in December 2009. What happened next? Normal service resumed. It was time for petrodollar carnival again. Politicians went on a spending competition with vengeance.

Agriculture, solid minerals and Japanisation became dirty words again. All tiers of government embarked on unsustainable expenditure. Civil service went on an employment festival. Minimum wage went up. The population of political appointees exploded. Recurrent spending doubled and tripled and quadrupled.

National Assembly ballooned their own overheads insanely. They did not bother about the math.

Ahead of the 2011 elections, the excess crude account (ECA), which is supposed to be our savings for days like these, came under "terrorist" attack. Governors embarked on self- serving arguments that ECA was
unconstitutional. Some of us wrote and pleaded with them to keep these savings intact and live within their means. They waved the constitution menacingly in our face, telling us that we knew nothing about the law which says every federally collected revenue should be shared. I remember asking: is there any part of the constitution that says we should not agree to save part of our income? Of course, the governors knew what they were doing.

President Goodluck Jonathan, who himself was thinking of the 2011 elections, became very vulnerable to governors asking him to share the booty. Anytime governors met in Abuja, it was always announced thereafter that they had agreed to withdraw from ECA to "cushion" the effects of global "food" crisis. Food indeed.

Jonathan, meanwhile, was paying fuel subsidy to every Jumai, Jumoke and Juliana, apparently to fund his own election. The governors soon disappeared from our radar. They started flying private jets. The only governor I ever met on a commercial flight since then was Peter Obi. Many ministers started flying "ministerial jets". That is the way we are.

So it is 2009 all over again as crude oil prices have tumbled. The population of political appointees and their pay packets are being "slashed" again. On the surface, we appear to be sober, with our tails nestling between our legs.

We are pretending to be prudent. It appears the leopard is about to change its spots. But if I know my country very well, we don't learn any lessons. We are quietly waiting and wishing for another oil boom so that normal service can quickly resume. You can bet that as soon as the salary arrears are cleared with another oil boom, we will return to senseless spending yet again. That is why I am not praying for another windfall.

If we are a country that learns lessons, this crisis presents a perfect opportunity to reform our brain. With the right policies and incentives, Abia can be the electronics manufacturing centre of Africa; Plateau and Kogi can become global tourist destinations; Jigawa can be a world leader in sesame seeds; Rivers can play host to the biggest refineries exporting petroleum products; Kwara can rival Thailand in rice export; Taraba and Adamawa can host Africa's biggest mango and orange juice-making factories. The revenue to be derived from VAT, PAYE, duties and corporate taxes as well as the associated economic activities can cut off our umbilical cord from the unstable and disruptive hydrocarbon monster. Not to talk of the accompanying millions of direct and indirect jobs.

This crippling fiscal crisis has again exposed the underbelly of our "feeding-bottle federalism", as Senator Ike Ekweremadu calls it. We are in an economic nightmare. The time has come to confront our politicians and get them to sit down and do their jobs. On a second thought, I would love to be the Chief Whip so that I can, with the help of "koboko", whip these overfed adults in the National Assembly into line. They are obstructing our progress with their pot bellies. Of course, we need a peaceful National Assembly to move forward. But the most urgent issues today can still become our priorities while these exuberant legislators try to sort themselves out.

Distinction Between Niger Delta, South South And "Niger Delta"

Overtime people have used the term Niger Delta and South South interchangeably. I took my time to do extensive research and I consider it wise to share with the public.

Niger Delta

The Niger Delta is the delta of the Niger River at the Gulf of Guinea on the Atlantic Ocean in Nigeria. Historically and cartographically, the Niger Delta region consist of present day Rivers and Bayelsa states and Warri in (Delta state). These areas/states collectively is sometimes called Oil Rivers, as it was then the British Oil Rivers Protectorate established in 1884. The area was called Oil Rivers Protectorate because it was a major producer of palm oil. The area would be later part of the larger Niger Coast Protectorate after it was expanded in 1893 with Calabar as administrative office.

South South

The "South South" is an artificial geo-political zone created in 1995 by Gen Sani Abacha, and consist of Rivers, Bayelsa, Delta, Cross river, Akwa Ibom and Edo states. IBB had created six zones for "effective allocation of resources"

Historically, the "South South" has never been a single administrative entity. Let me explain...

Edo and Delta states

Though Warri (previously known as Delta Province) is/was part of the Niger Delta, the British in 1939 created the Western Region as a subset of Southern Nigeria and included Benin and Delta provinces in the region. The MidWest referendum of 1963 led to the creation of MidWest which included the Benin and Delta provinces from the Western Region after years/decades of agitation started by Benin Kings Oba Iweka II(in 1924) and Oba Akenzua II, Omo-Osiagie, Dennis Osadebe, Dalton Asemota, Okotie-Eboh etc and backed by super majority of Benin-Delta people. However, agitation by the "Niger-Deltans" within Bendel state for the creation of Warri State for the Niger Deltans(old Warri province), as well as call by the ANIOMAs for the Creation of ANIOMA state from the old Benin province led to the creation of Edo and Delta states in 1991.
(IBB forced Warri and ANIOMA people into one "Delta" state)

Akwa-Ibom, Cross river, Rivers and Bayelsa states

The four states were part of the Eastern Region in 1954 along with the present day 5 South Eastern States. Rivers and Bayelsa later formed "Rivers" State in 1967, while Akwa Ibom and Cross River became South Eastern state(later renamed Cross river state in 1976). Akwa Ibom state and Bayelsa state were splitted from Cross river(1987) and Rivers (1996) respectively.

Official "Niger Delta" States
President Olusegun Obasanjo in 2000 "expanded" Niger Delta to include SW Ondo state, SE Imo and Abia states , and SS Akwa Ibom, Edo and Cross river states. Thus, official Niger Delta states are the aforementioned plus the historical and cartographical Niger Delta (Rivers, Bayelsa and Delta states). All 8 states are the oil producing states in Nigeria.

Summary:

1. The Niger-Deltans in the "Real Sense" are people in the present day Rivers and Bayelsa states (old Rivers province), and Warri in the present day Delta state (old Warri/Delta province).

2. The “official” Niger Delta is an expression for the oil producing states of Ondo, Imo, Abia, Akwa Ibom, Edo, Cross River, Rivers, Delta and Bayelsa states. It is not exclusive to South South.

3. "South South" consist of 4 old Eastern states (Rivers, Bayelsa, Cross river and Akwa Ibom) and the old Midwest (Edo and Delta).

4. No single ethnic group can speak for "South South", as historical interests differs. For instance,
I) In Delta state, the Itsekiris are majorly pro-Yorubas. They majorly voted against Midwest region(preferring to be with the Yoruba Western region), and opposed the creation of Warri state. The Akoko-edos in Edo state are also pro-Yoruba and also opposed the creation of Midwest region.

III) The Binis, Esans, Ijaws, Igbos etc of Edo and Delta states have always lived harmonously since the fall of Benin Kingdom in 1897, formed alliances and supported each others interests. In fact, it was an Igboman(Anioma) Denis Osadebe that proposed Benin city to be the capital of MidWest/Bendel in 1963.

5. There is ethnic Igbo population in Delta (ANIOMA) and Rivers states. There is Ijaw ethnic population in Edo(Toru-Ibe Ijaws), Akwa Ibom (Eastern Andonis/Ibolo) and Ondo (Arogbo Ijaws) in addition to those in Rivers, Delta and Bayelsa states.

6. While the term "Niger Deltans" refers to people from Rivers, Bayelsa and Warri, the term "South Southners" refers to people that falls into the six states within the South South.

I hope we find this piece educating and Informative.

God Bless Us All

References:

dailyindependentnig.com/2014/01/ethnic-groups-geo-political-regions-nigeria/

www.african-volunteer.net/niger_delta.html

www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/ng_orp.html

www.vanguardngr.com/2011/02/the-true-story-of-delta-state-creation-by-otobo-akpeki-tosanwumi/

http://www.waado.org/nigerdelta/ethnichistories/
EgharevbaLectures/Fifth-Omoigui.htm

Universal Concept Of Mental Arithmetic System (UCMAS

Universal Concept Of Mental Arithmetic System is a skill development program that aims at bringing out the best in every child. This program originated in Malaysia and now is spread out across more than 60 countries and over 3 million students' word wide owing to the fact that UCMAS produces tangible results in children enhancing their creativity, concentration and confidence.
In today's competitive modern day and age it is utmost necessary to create a platform for children to enhance their brain development. UCMAS abacus mental arithmetic programs are designed to mobilize the learning imitative of children to reach faster, think deeper, understand deeper and in turn assist in the retention of the lessons taught in the school. Mental Arithmetic is a form of calculation that does not involve the use of any physical or external gadgets / instruments such as a calculator or a computer. The calculations are solely done by human mind using mental power. To achieve this, UCMAS utilizes an ancient Chinese tool called the Abacus. The children are taught to calculate using the abacus by mapping the beads to numbers in their mind and the calculations are performed by moving the beads accordingly. This way, through continuous practice, the children register the numbers as images in their right brain and eventually can perform mental mathematics at exceptional speeds without the help of the abacus and their speeds are faster than that of electronic calculators.

I watched the UCMAS Quiz on TV3 today and I was amazed at the way children of between 4-10 solves complex mathematics without using any calculator. Who has heard of this before?
Its so wonderful.
see the picture of how the children solve maths with their fingers in this link. I really wish this come to Nigeria.

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--y9B5vbhc--/saqlzwd8uegxhfmxh83z.gif

http://www.modernghana.com/news/270521/1/ucmas-quiz-starts-showing-on-gtv.html